Jun 01
Here’s one for the magicians in the crowd. Some trade humor so-to-speak. This is meant purely for fun. I have done a lot of these in the past.
You might be a bad magician if….
- “For my next trick..” is set as a macro on your word processor.
- you ask to borrow a half dollar from the audience.
- you perform silk to panties in you kid show.
- you hold the world record for the longest straight jacket escape.
- you ever say “the clean one.”
- you preload your doves an hour before the show.
- you want to know where MagicDevlin got his costume.
- the manager of a restaurant lets you go home early and it’s is your free/trial show.
- you store your appearing cane in your close-up case.
- your stage looks like a garage sale.
- you say you have a trapdoor on the stage but don’t.
- the audience applauds every time your assistant comes on stage.
- your silks have the added texture of wrinkles.
- you show up for your performances right on time.
- you have this pompom connected to this pompom.
- you claim you are the world’d greatest magician.
- your performance was so moving, the audience moved to the exits.
- you like fancy dance moves like rocking from side to side when you talk.
- you are so impressed with your card manipulation, you have to watch it yourself.
- you need a ball of fire to shoot out of your head and fly over the audience to do a pass.
- you can never get to THREE!
- you ever have to say “he’s just sleeping” about your dove.
- you have stopped the show because know one will volunteer for a trick.
- you do get a volunteer and he is the oldest person in the room, and you’re doing headchopper.
- you’ve ever made an audience member bleed.
- someone claims your show is “interesting”
Anyone care to add more?